Words and poetry can be incredibly delicious to me. Some pieces of poetry and songs literally drip off the tongue as they inwardly speak to my soul.

Clouds are a writers daydream, when lost in the mind. Watching clouds can take us back into the creative unconscious, bringing forward creativity and often clarity.

As I wrote my first and my second book, if I ever became stuck with my writing I would simply gaze out of the window and drift off into a serene place, looking at the clouds moving across the sky, sometimes slowly, sometimes hardly moving at all.

Clouds have so many metaphors, and one I love the most  is that clouds are like the thoughts of the mind, we can't grab onto thoughts and neither can we grab onto clouds, but the sky is who we really are, unmoving, unchanging, because everything changing is illusion.  That which changes is not the wholeness of the human being being experienced through this world in physical form.

I walked along by the water today in my local city of Gloucester in the UK. I was having a 'sad' day. I had been immersed in emotion since waking, tears flowing, loneliness heavy in my heart, this deep sore place inside me rupturing to be seen, to be heard.

And so I took myself out for a walk, a long slow walk. So many 'B' words for this day of the challenge, books, belonging, blossoming… and as I sat by the water gazing at families enjoying the sunshine, couples getting all 'kissy kissy', I felt this strong yearning to belong. Belong to what? A family? A couple? A friendship?

​So it's April Fools Day and there is no grander a fellow than the fool in life,
The fool leaps to its joy and falls before strife, 
No magic eludes him neither the chance to have fun,
the fool is the human who dances close to the sun.

We may try and avoid the fool in life, but the inner fool is always calling.

​The fool frees us from our limitations, encourages our greatness and pushes us to step forward into the great unknown. And where many may judge us as foolish, the fool is the bridge to uncertainty and freedom.

The fool also reminds us, when we are being fickle humans, when we are taking ourselves and life far too seriously, to have a laugh, add some colour into our world and have fun.

A writer's life is that of the fool. When we let our words create whimsy, our inner world be shared on the page, writing is a freedom tool, writing is a leaping fool!

This time last year I was about to begin the A to Z Writing Challenge over on my other blog KellyMartinSpeaks and I had so much fun doing it I decided to do it again this year, but bring it over to my writing blog this time.

As I am preparing to publish my second book on April 17th my other writing took a backseat and my poor blogging nature got neglected and rejected, so I am very sorry to all readers of this blog and my other blog, but I will make it up to you with this new challenge.

The A to Z challenge involves blogging every day (exception Sundays) on a topic beginning with that particular letter of the alphabet. We don't need to choose a theme, but I like honing my skills and really pondering things so my theme is un-surprisingly writing.

This can be anything writing, from my favourite words, books, images of writing, tools, for writing, writing tips... the list is endless... and well it may be interesting when I get to X and Z.

So I hope you enjoy joining me on this journey.

Much love 

Everything happens in its own time. Sometimes life presents us with difficulties and challenges and we are unable to move forward. For me it's been more a case of writing and not writing, writing and not writing. I am late with my new book, my intention was to finish it by summer and I have only just begun to write it. I am using this time to develop self-compassion and acceptance and surrender to my natural flow.

In the time since I last posted, I fell in love, had a short love affair, a painful break-up and at the same time I nearly bled to death due to an operation challenge to do with my lady-parts. Not an easy writing time, but some would say great food for the writing. It is now, but in the midst of it, it was more head down and hide until I could come back up for air. And this is exactly what I did.

As I lay on my sofa one day, gazing out of the window at the silhouette of a tall silver birch tree with its cascading branches and no leaves, I was reminded that even though nature in winter may be outwardly less vibrant without leaves and flowers, it is still extremely beautiful. In its stillness and non-doing, its sweet surrender to its purpose is revealed. Its only purpose is to be whatever it is, right there, in the moment. Leaves one moment, gone the next. Perfect in its existence.

So why was I resisting being creatively blocked? Why was I so insistent on pushing through the block and trying to make my own leaves and flowers grow?

It had been many months since I’d felt a consistent flow of creativity. My writing felt stifled, muffled in a perpetual fog with no new landscape in sight. I started writing in 2006 and with the occasional break here and there, writing was something that came from my soul - it came naturally to me. To feel this absence of writing felt like losing a limb to me. I was no longer able to be what I thought I was – a writer.

So you want to self publish your book? You may have considered approaching publishers, but realised you didn't have the cash to even send off proposals or manuscripts. Yes this sucks big time, being creative on a low cash flow, but this does not mean you give up. No, far from it.

I was pretty much near a zero budget for publishing my book When Everyone Shines But You I wanted it to look professional, I wanted a book cover designer, I wanted a proof-reader and editor and formatter that would do all the 'work' that was not my cup of tea, but alas, I had nowhere near the funds required, even the minimum. I was managing to keep myself on a cafe cappuccino twice a week (I like cafes, they inspire me to write more), but that was it.

Writing may seem a romantic affair to many. You sit in a cafe, gazing out of the window awaiting inspiration, and then write an amazing magical story of intrigue and adventure. Well, for self-help writers or those in the non-fiction arena it can be a tad different.

Many people may have an idea already forming, a well structured list of chapters, what goes where and off you go! My writing journey was not like this at all.

I researched a little on book-writing beforehand, but I just wanted to write. I was not sure what I was going to write; I just knew I had to write. Looking back I can see things I would do differently next time and I highly recommend it for first time authors. I will make a bullet check-list for you near the end of this post.

So you see in the photo to the left my manuscript. This was me in a cafe, trying to appear romantic and all 'writer-like' (grin), but it was not romantic. It was empowering but not romantic or idealistic. It was work, often work I did not want to do. 

If you love to write, you probably do not want to edit. You probably would rather someone else took care of editing, the formatting of the book, and the whole entire marketing admin side of things, and if you have the luxury of the resources to do this, DO IT! But if you do not, like me, you may get an awful lot of self-empowerment to think, 'HEY! I pretty much did it all myself! And I spent hardly a cent to do so!'.

In late 2013 I had reached a crossroads in my life where I knew I had to do something. 

For a long time I had been feeling there was a book inside me but never went much further than joining a Nanowrimo writing challenge and never going so far as editing or completing it. People I knew kept telling me 'Kelly you should write a book, your writing is good', but I just nodded and got on with everyday living.

One day while watching a friend talk about her book something stirred. It came from envy. I did not have the income to get an editor, or a fancy cover designer. I read all the sites on self-publishing and thought I did not even have the basic income to make it as professional as I had seen on-line, but that didn't stop me.

I made the decision on the anniversary of my father's death to write a book.